​Return to Celeste Mountain for an incredible journey of reflection, discovery, and acceptance. Eight nerdcore artists share their unique perspectives on gender, identity, and mental health, while exploring the themes found within the iconic Celeste soundtrack by Lena Raine.

All proceeds benefit The Female Composer Safety League.

The Female Composer Safety League supports survivors regardless of whether they are able to share their stories. Their work as an organization addresses the historical lack of accountability in the composing industry that has caused harm to many, in particular young women. They provide safe spaces that enable female and non-binary composers to express their full selves and bravely bring their music into the world.

Special thanks to Lena Raine.

All samples and lyrics were added with express permission.

Producer: Jisun Hughes
Original Composer: Lena Raine
Album Cover: Ro Panuganti

-Track 1-
Navi: Arrangement, Lyrics, Producer, Vocals
SQORE: Vibraphone
Lena Raine: Original Composer

I guess this is it. I guess we’re through.
Now that you’ve seen me alone.
Now that you’ve seen me with you.
I can be ok with this.
I think I have to be.
You will go away a bit.
That’s cool. That’s cool.
That’s cool with me. Cruel.

You think you can just leave me behind?
That’s unfortunate. I don’t think so.
Nice try. You should just lay down and [die].
Let entanglement strangle your “rise and shine” away again.
You and me? We’re intertwined.
A knot. A friend forever and ever inside.
Forever cruel inside.

It doesn’t add up.
You know it makes sense.
Every year you blame me.
You should blame yourself.
You’ve been holding me at a
Height you won’t summit, right?
We both plummet though life.
There’s no cushion. It’s tight and
soul crushing. Inside is
so cozy, always rosy,  
never stress. Never lonely.  
Why would you go? Cruel.

You think you can just leave me behind?
That’s adorable. I don’t think so.
Nice try. You should just lay down and [die].
Let entanglement strangle your “rise and shine” away again.
See, you and me? We’re intertwined.
A knot. A friend forever and ever inside.

You think you can just leave me behind?

You’re too kind.

-Track 2-
LEX the Lexicon Artist: Lyrics, Vocals
Ronin Op F: Arrangement, Producer
Lena Raine: Original Composer

Welcome to my mind hotel, I’ll show you the way
So make yourself at home and I hope that you enjoy your stay
Any stranger that approaches brings a joyous day
Please forgive the neglect that’s left it in a disordered state

I’m always eyeing for friends or lovers to tell
About this private confinement that isn’t just a hotel
(It’s never just a hotel) hell with rap it’s a given
That I have your permission just to be self indulgent as hell

Step up, into the lobby, first thing that you see
Is quite a modernized arrangement that is hip and unique
With accommodations for many, feels inviting and friendly
Designed for social settings, but it’s nicer when empty

My thoughts echo off the walls
Volume up, and Ballroom 1 becomes a concert hall
When darkness falls, I try to draw a hard line
Between my dreams and planning events that aren’t mine

To the left is the fitness center
It’s a lot less used than the business center
It’s a bit disheveled
Not the best compared to other hotels
But I’m pressured to frequent it for my health and to be thin as well

If you forget an essential or get hungry
Don’t forget to come by the neglected section of sundries
Where they’ll remind you that your memory is worsening
Losing shit you really need, holding on to worthless things

The swimming pool’s perfect for a family
This is likely where I’d bring my kids, if I had any
Thought of it before, largely an act to please them
Water over my head, I’d drown in a lack of freedom

That’s the gist of what comprises our facilities for public use
If you liked it, I’ll reveal to you some ugly truths
There’s parts that few will ever see, dusty from disuse
I trust you, let’s go up to the rooms

At times you’ll spot a zombie walking down the hallway, that’s some scary shit
Arms and legs for my therapist but I don’t tell him this
I act like I changed, lie, and backslide
Bask in the shame embattling my life at bath time

I’m embarrassed by my taste for bad music and men
In the eyes of blackpillers a max six out of ten
Embarrassed by oversharing and landing in hot water
Embarrassed I suck at music, but more that I’m not a doctor

Hoarder by birth, keeper of archives
Locked in this coded safe, several folders deep in a hard drive
Are Terabytes of data that stay there accumulating dust
I can’t delete, even the really humiliating stuff

Maybe surprisingly there’s quite a bit of closet space
Despite my dispassion for fashion I need all this space
This room is heaven on earth for intrusive elephants
I got a living tombstone’s worth of spooky skeletons

You want an artist with a perfect past?
Well that’s too bad. I punch up, but didn’t always do that
At any moment someone’s gonna nose into my private affairs
Start reporting what they find over there

Got a full length mirror just see my defects up close
All the pores, all the scars, yeah I got truckloads
Fuck clothes, I see more clearly when I’m naked
That who I am inside’s what other people make it

There’s a nice king bed, it’s a shame I always sleep alone
I wouldn’t know love if it came to meet me on its own
Convinced there’s no one else on planet earth that matches all parameters
I travel through paramours like a passenger

Below the balcony’s where the fears in my heart reside
I’m scared of losing the ones I love to the march of time
I’m scared of losing the one, I’m scared of being no one
I’m scared I peaked way too early and it’s keeping me frozen

I’m scared I’ll never bridge that gap between my skills and my goals
I’m scared my online addiction will leave my brain full of holes
Scared I’m starting to be fixed in my beliefs
Scrolling echo chambers on Reddit, digging my heels deep

Scared I’m getting out of touch and too old for the game
Scared I’m missing out on TikTok fame
Scared I’ll be a disappointment to the family, or worse, myself
Scared you’ll leave cause I’m beyond any help, well suit yourself

Wait, you wanna stay?
Okay.
That’s fine.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you change your mind.

-Track 3-
Freeced: Arrangement, Lyrics, Producer, Vocals
Lena Raine: Original Composer

The flow is always chasing me,
Rising in my stomach inescapably,
Settle down [settle down], settle down [settle down]
It’s cool, it’s all just making it from a to b

The flow is always chasing me,
Rising in my stomach inescapably,
Settle down [settle down], settle down [settle down]
I’m on the run, I don’t want ice, I just want agency

Me, I never wanna be cocky
Seems like every time I talk about myself I’m just exposing all my flaws
But let’s be honest, I would rather be an ok version of me
Than be a paragon of hoaxes on a poster for applause
Facsimile, everybody monied seems to have a different
Plan of getting rid of me, everyone in power wants to
Tell me that my cousins and my sisters and my mothers are my
Enemy, poisoning communities like ketamine
Regulate it, write it on a scrap of paper
That’ll keep the people happy, that’ll change the path of nature
That is what the judge says, greedy-eyed and mongering fear
So how are we the ones that can’t stand to look in the mirror
I was tryna make a little life in written copy
Couldn’t hack it at the office, though, I think that shit’s beyond me
Commies don’t belong there sipping gossip at the Mr. Coffee
We could solve poverty with half the cash they give the army
These days, I get along with folks in Appalachia
Batting half and half on pronouns, but never known for capping
Old vocabulary dies hard, but grandma says respect goes
Both ways, so, if you do too, you’re still a family
Hey, it’s gonna be ok,
I hope somebody told you that today
I hope somebody’s holding you today
You got a lot of story left to say

The flow is always chasing me,
Rising in my stomach inescapably,
Settle down [settle down], settle down [settle down]
It’s cool, it’s all just making it from a to b

The flow is always chasing me,
Rising in my stomach inescapably,
Settle down [settle down], settle down [settle down]
I’m on the run, I don’t want ice, I just want agency

-Track 4-
Ryako: Arrangement, Lyrics, Producer, Vocals
Lena Raine: Original Composer

Verse 1:
Have to find
The mirror of your mind
And look upon
Your blackest of reflections
Want to hide
The shadow self inside
But you can’t outrun
All your imperfections

Chorus:
‘Cause everybody’s got a dark side
Only want to show the light
Everybody’s got a dark side
They can’t fight
‘Cause everybody’s got a dark side
Full of pain and full of sin
Can’t deny it
To embrace it is to win

Verse 2 (rap):
Don’t look down
Look up to the sunlight
Move forward
Eyes toward
To the summit, to the top
Of the mountain
Conquer Celeste
Your best
Keep giving all you’ve got
‘Til you know yourself

Find the answers you seek
The shadow sister speaks
Panic, anxiety, weak
And depressed
There is no light without the dark
No night without the stars
Live life and bare your scars

Chorus:
‘Cause everybody’s got a dark side
Only want to show the light
Everybody’s got a dark side
They can’t fight
‘Cause everybody’s got a dark side
Full of pain and full of sin
Can’t deny it
To embrace it is to win

-Track 5-
Shubzilla: Arrangement, Lyrics, Producer, Vocals
Bill Beats: Arrangement, Lyrics, Producer
Lena Raine: Original Composer

Wake up, give thanks
The Lord, up above, keeping me in his ranks
Is he there? I dunno, I'm goin’ with the flow
Just give me peace, I used to know
This shit that filled my cup to the brim
Waves so dark and I can't swim
No backup for me, they say I'm too strong
But I can’t keep up this shit for too long - we pray
It don’t matter the way
Me against the world, it's just another day
And I'm doin fine, with the time that I'm given
Even on overdrive workin’ every piston
He put me on mute
Maybe it's true The Word absolute
Just gonna fake like I know The Good Book
I bet He knows I'm high key shook

There's a catch - I feel it in my gut
One can have doubt with their third eye shut
There's a catch - I feel it in my gut
One can have doubt with their third eye shut
There's a catch
There's a catch - I feel it in my gut
There's a catch
One can have doubt with their third eye shut

Everybody know sin
Guilt used to get me, I'm too far in
Years since I felt grace
When I try to repent it blows up in my face
I race against the clock tickin’ til this heaux can't breathe or talk
Gimme my roses and bread, a crown on my head, can't take it with me where I'm bouta be led
God lemme have this, I ask too much
I know there be times where we fell outta touch
I did it to myself, access denied
I can admit when the crime is pride
So, am I worth keeping around
Go forth now and let it resound
I dunno why the world still turns
When a bitch like me gets more than she earns

There's a catch - I feel it in my gut
One can have doubt with their third eye shut
There's a catch - I feel it in my gut
One can have doubt with their third eye shut
There's a catch
There's a catch - I feel it in my gut
There's a catch
One can have doubt with their third eye shut

-Track 6-
JOEY Z64: Arrangement, Lyrics, Producer, Vocals
Lena Raine: Original Composer

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT BREAKING MY PHONE & CLIMBING A MOUNTAIN
I SAY THIS ALL THE TIME & PEOPLE ALWAYS SEEM ASTOUNDED
THEY ASK ME WHY I WANNA & I TELL EM THAT I GOTTA
THEY SAY “THAT SOUNDS KINDA HARD” & I’M LIKE “I DON'T SEE THE PROBLEM”
I BEEN LIVING AT THE BOTTOM & I’M HUNGRY FOR A PURPOSE
CHUGGING TITO’S, I’MA BE ONLINE & MAD AT STRANGERS, CURSING
FEELING WORTHLESS, I STARE UP AT THE SUMMIT & I’M CERTAIN
AT THE VERY LEAST BELIEVE I'M EITHER STUBBORN OR DETERMINED
EITHER WORKS FOR ME
I PURPOSELY DROPPED MY PHONE IN A RIVER
IT MADE ME FEEL DRAMATIC. GOT ANOTHER PHONE DELIVERED
I REALLY THINK I’VE HAD IT
DON’T THINK I CAN STAND ANOTHER DAY
I CALLED OFF WORK AGAIN & STAYED IN BED TIL SUPPER CAME
FUCK IT
THEY WON’T FIND THE BODY FOR A WHILE IF I SIMPLY SIT & DIE BEHIND A PILE OF MY DIRTY CLOTHES
THIRTY MORE MINUTES IN THE MORNING, GIVE ME THIRTY MORE
& THIRTY MORE & THIRTY MORE & THIRTY, NOW I’M THIRTY--
NOW MY BODY HURTS
GOD, WON’T THE MISERY STOP?
I'VE BEEN HAVING VIVID DREAMS ABOUT THESE SHIMMERING BLOCKS
I KEEP COLLECTING ALL THESE KEYS & I DON’T SEE ANY LOCKS
WHEN I SEE THE MIRROR IT’S ME EXCEPT SHE BLEEDS WHEN WE TALK
GODDAMN
I WAKE UP & REMEMBER I’M BROKE
TRY TO KEEP MY BREATH STEADY & THE FEATHER AFLOAT
I THINK ABOUT THE MOUNTAINTOP & HOW I’M GONNA SCALE THE CRESTS
I REALLY DON’T KNOW HOW TO STOP, I’M SCARED OF DEATH
WHERE’S THE LEDGE?
... I MIGHT HAVE MADE A MISTAKE
I GRIP MY PHONE TIGHT AS FUCK & I GLARE AT A LAKE
THE MOUNTAIN FACE IS MOCKING ME, I’M HIGH ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT
GOT ME ZIPPING UP MY JACKET & ADMIRING THE FORMAT
BLUFFS LOOKING LIKE UNNATURAL PUZZLES
IF THERE’S RUINS AT THE PEAK I’D LIKE TO DANCE IN THE RUBBLE
MY BOOTS HIT THE PAVEMENT & STOMP A SPLASH FROM A PUDDLE
AIN'T IT FUNNY HOW WE CAN BECOME ATTACHED TO THE STRUGGLE?

-Track 7-
Prowess The Testament: Lyrics, Vocals
Mark Cooper: Arrangement, Production
Lena Raine: Original Composer

I was caught in a dream today. I couldn't escape.
It took hold of my mind. I couldn't awake.
I stumbled over words, I couldn't say.
It's the first time I was ever afraid.

Verse 1:
Adrift a sea of crumbling crashes, where living life fast,
one could fumble a passion, It's drastic,
trumpets rise from the napkins, surviving matches, ether to ashes,
Knee jerk reactions…we reach backwards, seek factors to prevent the relapses,
When the masses cascade, it’s a distraction, so why act brave, scrapes fade band aids, keep charades at bay, Grenades an arm’s length away, no masquerade in my space,
a wave of grace, Saving face…Debris and deceit,
Inflicted on the brain like hieroglyphic antiques,
scientific degrees render the heat, a lack of intimacy, misery’s seat,
We tend to write history, from the view of defeat, subdued by the sweet,
Ambiguities and nuances, Influences construed, by hues of consumerist conclusions, the more we use, the Superscript shrinks when you read the illusions…my anxiety refused them…did it bruise them,
Surface abrasions, crippling grip of uncertainty’s taste on the tip of my face,
Risking the unknown, existing in our bones,
We hold our own like anchors that secures our anguish,
A steady shapeshift, a race of impatience till we make bliss,
When we aspire to greatness, it's daunting, in awe of our own ‘faulting’,
I’m haunted by flowers that never blossom…
That’s why I take precautions, I never fold like fitted sheets, really, are you kidding me, The bidding is never done by the enemy, energy hung on the awning, like it’s laundry, no one cares, they sit watching, of course it’s tongue in cheek,
vulnerability lies in the critique, in every note and every beat, its bittersweet
Streak of genius, heavy fingers in the receipts,
Stroke of the pen, between peace and deceit.
A deep grief, amidst the release…where I find the missing peace
Whispers of serenity never cease, feeling incomplete

It was something holding me down.
I didn't see anything,there was nothing around.
Seemed like a lifetime without any sound.
It's the first time I was ever bound…

Verse 2:
A dance with shadows, boldness paralyzed among the echoes in the atmos,
I dare to rise, I transform to a sandstorm and cause friction.
Blaze the competition…they stop look and listen to my brand of nonfiction,
Dance with pomp and circumstance, it’s getting old, traditions, behold the glow and listen…if the sum of the whole’s a mission, why did the credits roll division, It was hectic, When I spent a year wasting disinfectants, to make the genes regressive, Who comes clean and numbs the scene, then interjects a message,
A drifter with a question, but wouldn’t it be neat if the TV screened us lessons,
We’d need a week, it seems greek just being mentioned,
Facts straight we break in news debates and shape dimension,
Not one to mess with, just ledges, is you jumping or you stressing?
Ain’t no in between we’re edges at a breaking point,
They taking coins from the less then they threaten, joining with the rest,
The chess is pawns, I’m gone in seconds, all along it’s beckoned.
A quest in seventh heaven, falling through the abyss of emptiness,
Life’s mistress, drinking from nature’s tempting breast. Maybe it’s pointless…
Travels unravel, poison in the garden of noises,
Cricket chirps and voices, disguised but poignant choices,
We pick the fruit…lick the seeds,
Weak knees, grief trees, ‘been dones’, have nots, half-rot,
Corpus to the perimeter, padlocks.
Maybe it’s more than just glass thoughts, Baneful florist's craft clock,
Revolution’s been sought.
Life and death, right and wrong, knight of breath, to press on,
Compress songs, to captivate the collage of brittle branches,
The poison cultivates a mirage of my pencil dancing…

-Track 8-
SAINT EZRI: Lyrics, Vocals
Factory Flora: Arrangement, Production
Lena Raine: Original Composer

Verse 1
Met you at a VGM show
Back in the days before the scooters took over
We were both reaching for a hand to hold
Hadn’t been long since you never left home, and
I was still low from a host of old woes,
Just copin'. "So so" was the best I could hope for
Slow to show my whole range of emotion,
Coastin', just floatin’ in a Sea of merlot, and
You were so cool but you were too demure
On account of all the injuries that you'd endured
In some ways you knew exactly who you were
It was who you were to others that was still unsure
Comparin’ notes, Star Trek, Ghost in the Shell and stuff
Baring hearts, never felt like a trauma dump
I think I helped you realize that you're allowed to trust
And take stock of your friends, see there's a lot of us
And you helped me forgive and move past
A me that I had try to bury ten years back
And you were there for more than one panic attack
Help me catch my breath whenever I saw restraint straps

Hook
Breathe in, breath out
And find yourself
Inside your skin
Breathe out, breathe in

Verse 2
Those were the days that I wished were endless
Still felt numb but I never felt friendless
Taught me bag work so I’m less defenseless,
And you grew in several directions, you’re relentless
Brought fresh finesse to your photography practice,
Friday movie nights with the tight knit guest list
The state got hostile and you started to sweat it,
They turned up the pressure, you planned out your exit, you said
Is this exodus reckless, and I
Felt so depressed, wished I could say yes but
These feckless electeds, dead set to wreck us
Won’t quit passing stuff that affects us, so we
Helped you FedEx all of your effects to the
Next address on your checklist
Stayed up late and shared breakfast on the
Day you fled Texas, headed Northwest, I
Drove home music blasting, more sound,
Tried to drown out the pain, got more down
Heart went floor bound every time I drove toward
Georgetown, for sure, still feels sore now

Hook
Breathe in, breath out
And find yourself
Inside your skin
Breathe out, breathe in


Verse 3
You ghosted the city like a damn trans phantom,
Granted, we'd still hang out to scope your work on Anthem
You'd chat about Canada, flying round the Bastion
Banterin, hunting for the Last Stand Cannon and
Later that year some pals played for the soundtrack
So I finally got around to climbing Celeste Mountain
And it almost made me face why I made my last album
Instead I pounded rock bottom and kept falling through the ground, drowning
In retrospect I guess that it happens to a lotta dolls
They see what's coming next and they start pounding down the alcohols
I'd walk for five miles or so every day to hold it off
But then it'd get dark again and pretty soon I'm awful sauced
After a year it all felt empty like a shopping mall
I knew I'd have to quit, I couldn't answer when the bottle calls
Somewhere underneath I started healing through the longer pause
Like wait for three minutes there's a life behind the waterfalls

Hook
Breathe in, breath out
And find yourself
Inside your skin
Breathe out, breathe in

Outro
Been about a year and now I can stand my mirror, you’re
My beloved friend and you helped me find a clearer view
S-tier queer with a sincere cheer plentiful
I wake up glad I’m here and I’m grateful I’m endeared to you,-
I’m sad it took this long, but I’m grateful that I’m home
In my body, my relationships and all the ways I’ve grown
And I still need love from friends but I can finally make my own, the truth is
None of us can make it to the summit all alone